Marriage..even though we’ve only been married for 18 months but we’ve been together for almost 7 years.. it sometimes feels like we’ve been together our entire lives. I see lots of couples around us that after only a few years of marriage start to talk divorce. So I wanted to share what I’ve learnt in the past 7 years.
These are the 7 things 7 years of Imene + Tim has taught me:
1. Marriage is easy
Yes, particularly if you married the right person. I don’t know what all the fuss was about ‘surrendering your rights’, ‘putting spouse before me’, ‘loving and serving’, etc. I thought my marriage was relatively easy. I think that’s where I’m extremely lucky. I got myself a good spouse. Well, I had 2 other competitors going for the same guy many years ago, but I won the fight and took the guy trophy home. It’s smooth sailing from then on. So my advice girls: choose your spouse carefully, and fight hard for him!
2. Marriage is safe
We decided early on to enter our marriage knowing that never never are we to consider divorce as an option. It seems almost counter-cultural in this day and age where almost 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce. But we found that this commitment has kept both of us safe. We can count on the other at all times. We face challenges, any challenges, as a team. I feel safe when I’m with him, and so does he.
3. Marriage keeps you humble
I don’t like to admit this, but I often feel like a real flawed human because I’m living with a flawless partner. His compassion and purity of heart keeps my bossiness, know it all attitude in check. Each time I act like b*tch he reminds me of who I am and keeps me in the right perspective.
4. Marriage does not cure loneliness
It’s interesting to think that many people get into the marriage thing hoping to cure their loneliness. Not quite. What’s worse than being lonely is being locked in relationship with the wrong person and feeling alienated by that person. What some call loneliness, I believe is something else altogether. My lovely husband works long and tedious ours… I think before you truly are ready for a committed and solid relationship you have to be okay to sit at home on your own and occupy yourself. If anything you have to be our own best friend.
5. Marriage is fun
Needless to say, my happiest moments in life happen within the context of my relationship. And these joyous times are even better because they are shared with my best friend. Examples of our fun times? Purchasing our first home, family holidays, spending uninterrupted weekends together doing absolutely nothing but whatch movies and veg out, and well… a few other things that a family-friendly blog cannot include.
6. Marriage hurts sometimes
As iron sharpens iron, so does one person sharpens another. He makes me a better person. Not easy for him, nor for me. But I realize the emotional pain I feel is for my own good as he always sees the best in me. And because we know each other so well, we are also the one most able to hurt each other with a particular word or two. Marriage opens the darkest parts of me. He knows that, sees that, and still loves me because he can also see the potential good in me. The hurts are necessary so the good will be experienced.
7. Marriage is about the journey
We agree that we are stronger today than 7 years ago. We know the road ahead will not always be smooth because we have some very big dreams about what we want to do with life. But we’re safe. Because we’re best friends on the same journey, we can face all of life’s storms together. We do not know our ultimate destination, but because the journey is so enjoyable as it is with him at the moment, it probably does not really matter where we will be.
Here’s to you honey.. here’s to a life time of me and you….I am after all the ultimate romantic.. so I hope our story ends like it did in the Notebook.. I can’t see myself spending a day on this earth without you! I love you